The third weekend of June is Father's Day, which is becoming more and more common in Hungary as well, providing an excellent opportunity to focus on the male members of our family. All the more so, since unfortunately today in our country every tenth child grows up without a father, even though a significant part of divorces - and with it fatherlessness - could be prevented. Vasarnap.hu conducted an interview with psychologist László Léder, the founder of the Father Academy and the author of the Silent Father Revolution, from which we are reviewing.
In recent decades, Hungary has also gradually become a fatherless country. said the specialist. As more and more children are born in non-marital relationships, official divorce data do not reflect reality. I would like to add that I know many divorced families, but not divorced on paper.
The greatest burden is the father's lack of work-life balance. Men with small children are particularly affected by the problem of overwork. In addition, the double expectation placed on fathers also appeared strongly here: be a good husband, a loving father, but also support the family, which has become a single earner over the years.
Another problem is the high divorce rate. A lot of divorces could be reversed with the right support. The third fatherless factor is our divorce practice itself. This needs to be changed urgently, because we are now producing new fatherless generations.
It is important that the father first dares and even wants to ask for help! Our partner and family can be the biggest help. In teamwork, we have to rethink our way of life, our possibilities, the division of family work! We usually have a lot more room for maneuver than we think. I know many fathers who have renegotiated their employment contracts or simply asked their employers for patience and flexibility.
Rather, it is characteristic that the majority of men do not dare or do not want to change, rather they put themselves in impossible situations, which will end up being bad for everyone. I see many good examples, but for this you have to dare to say: it won't work like this, I can't take it like this, I'm asking for time, I need help.
I see that Hungarian families are sensitive to this topic. I just have to raise the issue of paternal and maternal roles and the people will speak. The change is huge, the acceptance of the changing father's role increases every year and it is more and more natural if a father happens to stay at home with the children, not the mother. On the other hand, our systems move slowly: fathers still work too much today, and time has passed for the 5-day paternity leave.
Source: nlc
Because the presence of fathers in families is of fundamental importance. Just like the mother, the role of the father is unquestionable for children. The world is round with father and mother. Even if fathers are often forced out of this role due to the increasing number of divorces. They are forced out of the family, because during divorces - in many cases - they distance themselves not only from the former spouse, but also from the children.
We now hope for a change in divorce practice, as it has become easier to apply for joint parental custody from January 1, 2022. Many companies have introduced significant father subsidies in recent years. And perhaps most importantly,
today's young fathers already consciously want to be good enough fathers.
I have to say that I am cautiously optimistic. We are moving in the right direction, but we still have a lot of work to do.
2022Plusz: On Father's Day, we wish that as many men as possible have the strength, faith, perseverance and courage to undertake and experience the vitally important (sweet) fatherhood.
Source: vasarnap.hu/ hirado.hu
Featured Image: Pixabay
