If you think about it, we were not far from the establishment of the unified Eurasian trade area, which would have ensured a peaceful and prosperous life for everyone on these two, which, unfortunately, were brought together by order of Putin, otherwise completely foreign continents. But fortunately, this danger no longer threatens us, you averted it, hundreds of thousands will die again and millions will be destitute.
We are not insatiable, we also liked the fact that you used our money to deliver weapons to Ukraine, but maybe now it is a little better for us. Of course, we have already accepted your extremely attractive offer, we are happy to destroy our economy and give up all our independence for your sake, so that you can preserve the old world order in which you are number one, but we are really glad that you are also donating some money to this, which is more urgent for us and onward to a more important matter!
We were surprised by the news that the Congress accepted the 61 billion grant for the struggle of our eastern neighbor, Ukraine, in order to preserve their status as an American client state, which gives them the opportunity to practice National Socialist reminiscences as a state reason. We were quite touched by your kindness and consideration, dear fellow American representatives and senators!
After all, what would I be without the wonderful, ancient Ukraine, where they proved to us that it is possible otherwise: where people are burned, books are also burned later.
You are absolutely right that Putin cannot win, Putin's peace is not peace, the resources of raw materials that are now located under the territories occupied by Putin and the Russian-speaking population will be more than enough for the European industry that has been destroyed and destroyed for your sake. They must be driven out of Donetsk and Luhansk so that we can buy American raw materials from there at an expensive price. Thank you that, thanks to your persuasion, we are slowly breaking away from the Russian raw materials purchased within the framework of cheap and fair business agreements, so that we can finally depend solely on you, you can tell us what and how much we can buy. If you are at all willing to sell it to us, or domestic political calculation intervenes, like with your shale gas.
Sorry you had to threaten me about this at all!
Thank you once again for donating to these important goals of yours, not only using our money to carry out your geopolitical and business master plans to our detriment! We are particularly happy that after Russia you are also damaging our relations with China, after all we need the largest market in the world for us and our still existing products. We are happy when you trade with China and Russia, and we don't have to worry about that. We hear that all is not well between you and China because of China's scandalous behavior. We are outraged with you at the way China does not carry out your instructions, refuses to break its mutually beneficial relations with Russia, so that after we defeat Putin, it will be left alone to face us. Only an Asian population can be so stupid and narrow-minded. We secretly hope that they will realize your interests!
Please don't be shy, tell us directly what else you want from us!
Should we give all our weapons to Ukraine? You're welcome and now, we don't need any of it, our operetta armies are only meant to entertain you with our funny English pronunciation during our joint expeditionary operations. Russia will not win anyway, because it cannot win! Because we won't let him.
Also, you don't let him use our money, which you generously put some of it into. Thank you, USA!
Unfortunately, we don't have much money anymore, but we trust in your creativity to find some more in our pockets! We didn't succeed, so you were also forced to contribute to the financing of your own case. We're not proud of it, believe me! Maybe we can wash away our shame with a trade deal that only benefits you, if that's what you want.
We know you have a lot to do, so you can't pay attention to so many things. For example, our agriculture still exists, despite the fact that you dumped your poisoned and vile grain harvested in Ukraine on us at a very favorable dumping price. Unfortunately, there are no high-quality plants and animals in Ukraine, so Norwegian salmon and French wines still exist alongside Italian and Spanish hams. Let's fix this, believe me, please! It would be good if you could finally convince your agents of the US State Administration working in Brussels to either ban them on moral grounds, or perhaps eliminate the demand for them due to lack of money. We would have a much easier life if we not only did not produce, but also did not consume.
Of course, we're not greedy, we don't want to disturb Ursula von der Pfizer's maintenance officer in golfing, and then when he's done.
If you think about it, we were not far from the establishment of the unified Eurasian trade area, which would have ensured a peaceful and prosperous life for everyone on these two continents, which, unfortunately, were brought together on Putin's orders, and otherwise completely foreign. But fortunately, this danger no longer threatens us, you averted it, hundreds of thousands will die again and millions will be destitute. This would not have been possible without you - at least on your own, although we don't like to use that word in your company.
Thank you very much for everything, dear USA! Your generosity especially!
(For the sake of extremely limited puszerists who are unable to interpret the written words and complex sentences: the author is really happy about the American support, he approves of the decision of the House of Representatives.)
Featured image: cdn-newsapi.com.au
