Anita Herczegh: Dramas also make beautiful stories

The mission of the Regőczi István Foundation began with the support of 500 families.

– There was a mother who realized that she was expecting a baby during her husband's funeral. But there were also many pregnant mothers who could not be saved, only the child was delivered by caesarean section, so they were raised by the father since birth - Anita Herczegh, the president of the board of trustees of the István Regőczi Foundation established to help the Covid orphans, reported in an extensive interview what she had experienced during the activities of their organization about extraordinary stories. The wife of former President János Áder said that their mission started with the support of five hundred families, and currently the number of Covid orphans supported by the foundation is 1,200.

– The Regőczi Foundation was established in May 2021 with the aim of providing long-term and personalized care to children and young people who lost one or both of their parents as a result of the coronavirus epidemic. How many supporters does the foundation have now?

- In the first year, we supported nearly five hundred families and more than eight hundred children, later this number increased, there was a time when it exceeded 1,600. Currently, the number of Covid orphans supported by the Regőczi Foundation can be increased to 1,200. The reason for the decrease is that many people have finished their studies in recent years and are already working.

The foundation definitely supports orphans up to the age of 18, but if the person concerned is pursuing full-time studies, be it university or any professional training, they can count on us until the end of their studies.

"How old is the youngest child?"

- Two years ago, in 2022, three more newborns were born who were already half-orphans at the time of their birth, since their father was not alive. There was a mother who realized that she was expecting a baby during her husband's funeral. But there were also many pregnant mothers who could not be saved except for their child by caesarean section. These children are raised by the father since birth. The number of those who were no more than one year old when they became half-orphans can be put at fifty.

As many families, as many different life situations, everyone has a different story. Perhaps the most shocking story is that of the children who were already orphans before Covid, so they were raised by their grandparents, but their grandmother and grandfather also died in the epidemic. There are also four children we support, whose mother died of illness, their father also died two years later, and then Covid took away the grandparents assigned as guardians. These four children were orphaned three times. Despite the series of tragedies, two of them are now adults. One of them is a university student who regularly participates in our events, and it seems that he was able to survive the adversities and losses so far with a healthy mind, which is almost incomprehensible to me.

– What kind of support can the foundation give to these children with a difficult fate, be it spiritual, material or spiritual help?

– We embarked on this mission in 2021 with great enthusiasm. We have undertaken to provide individualized support to children until they reach adulthood or complete their studies. Obviously, we cannot replace a deceased mother or father, but we try to give everything that a parent could give. In the first year, we helped families with a one-time, larger amount of emergency aid. For many, it was also difficult to pay the costs of the funeral, in some cases the joint account was blocked until the end of the probate process, in other cases the mother was ill and had no salary.

In the following year, we established a monthly support system, depending on need and the number of children.

We try to assess the families' situation in a fair way in order to distribute the donations we receive as fairly as possible. Based on the data, we classify families into different categories, but we support every Covid orphan who comes to us to some extent. Those in the most difficult situations receive regular monthly support, but some only receive it four times a year: before Christmas, at the end of the heating season, during the summer camp period, and before the start of school. It is also possible to request extraordinary aid, for example, if the boiler breaks down, if glasses or braces are needed, or even for the travel costs of an athlete's child competing abroad. In such a case, they write us a request, on which the board of trustees makes a decision. I feel that we handle these needs with sufficient flexibility, but we strive to create a fair support system, as we are responsible to our donors.

– Is there any funding for the operation of the foundation?

– The amount with which we started helping the Covid orphans at the time has of course already run out. Since the foundation will definitely have tasks for another twenty years, it is important to find long-term supporters. In addition to regular financial assistance, we also try to solve difficulties such as processing grief.

We have experienced the need for a psychologist and mental health specialist with many children and widows. Today, a psychologist charges HUF 30,000-40,000 for a one-hour session, and many times are needed to process grief.

We also organize grief processing group therapies, since if the widow has not yet been able to process the loss, it affects the child as well. The fact that they were able to get out of their everyday life a little, they were with people who are in a similar situation, and they talked with peers was already a help for them in these programs. Since then, they keep in touch with each other outside of us, and help each other. We do not regret the money for this, because without it there is no progress, they cannot focus on the future.

In the absence of this, the children may not be able to process their own loss, because they have to support and comfort a devastated mother.

We have many supporters who offer vacation and camping opportunities in various parts of the country, as well as in the Highlands and Transylvania. A bus company helps transport families at a discount. We receive state and local government assistance, there are small entrepreneurs and associations that we can count on. But we also have a lawyer supporter who provides legal assistance. We often receive material donations: toys, honey, hand-knitted scarves, which we distribute at our events. It is a good feeling that at that time the whole country moved for orphan children.

We went to the Hungarian State Opera House for the third time for the rehearsal of The Nutcracker, but the Budapest Grand Circus also gives us tickets free of charge. The Rearticon Art Association offered a workshop to the Regőczi orphans for the weekend before Christmas, where they could make gifts together, be together, and relax. There were also Christmas concert offers, so it is gratifying that more people thought of us during this period as well.

"Do you have a personal relationship with the families?"

– Of course, I can't visit 800 families, but when I'm in the countryside, I try to visit our beneficiaries, I've already visited dozens of children. Although we do not ask for the data, personal interaction gives a much clearer picture. I also met a mother who, as a Covid-widow, is now battling cancer. I got to know the six-year-old girl who lost both her parents in the epidemic one day and is now being raised by her grandparents, as well as the seven-year-old boy who lost his mother and whose father was never present in his life. The two tragedies seem about the same. I visited both families. The little girl is being raised by energetic grandparents with a good financial background. The grandparents are older than the little boy, the grandfather has survived two heart attacks, and they live in very modest conditions.

The personal meeting revealed that in this case the financial need is much greater than I would have thought based on the data.

– Is there a child who was placed in foster care or in an institution due to lack of relatives?

"As far as I know, almost all children have been placed with relatives." I know of two orphans who were taken in by their classmate's family. For the parents, there was no question of taking on the guardianship of the children. Of course, the foundation also provides support in such cases.

– In addition to the foundation, he also does mission work at the Hungarian Maltese Charity Service and the Catholic Charity. How can you handle so many tasks?

– When my husband's term as president of the republic ended, I had to think about whether I would go back to the judicial career or continue the charity work that I had done intensively for ten years before that.

I can be replaced as a judge, but the Regőczi Foundation is a personal commitment and cannot be transferred.

The Hungarian Maltese Charity and the Catholic Charity also asked me to be a goodwill ambassador, and I took on these tasks by actively participating in everyday work. Participating in collections, medical missions, homeless care, and improving the living conditions of people with disabilities is a joyful activity for me.

I have been a blood donor since I was a university student, and I regularly try to draw attention to the importance of this. I have also been a hospice volunteer for two years. I used to visit all the hospice houses in the country, which had quite an impact on me. We don't like to face death, we prefer to turn our heads away. However, I think we should talk about this, and even do something about it, instead of thinking about our own comfort. Volunteering made me realize that I am stronger than I thought. At first, you don't even know if you can handle it. If we put someone in a better mood once in a while just by giving them a drink, adjusting their pillow or talking to them, we may have already gained a few more pleasant minutes for them, which is the most that can be given when there is no hope of recovery.

- He has encountered countless painful life situations in recent years, be it Covid orphans, Ukrainian refugees or incurable patients. How can you process all this, become stronger and continue with the same strength the next day?

– The many dramas I encounter give me at least as much success and beautiful stories. When I see that a twenty-year-old young man - who has already experienced as many tragedies as three people combined - thinks about how to help others, it warms the soul. There are countless people who have been quietly volunteering for years, decades, without expecting thanks, whom we don't even know about.

Charity work reevaluates things in a person, what is really important and what is not. Overall, I had a lot more positive experiences and fortunately met a lot more good people.

"What's your best story?"

– There is a Covid-widowed mother with three children, and a Covid-widowed father also with three children. The latter also lost his pregnant wife, luckily the baby was saved. Both were in their thirties when they became widows. Life brought it in such a way that they got to know each other, began to correspond, talk, and meet. Then they fell in love. After the meeting of the six children, the mother said that the children were sorry that the six were not siblings. Then the love turned into marriage, and since then they have a child together, so seven children live in one family. And we continue to provide help to the six orphaned children, because our basic principle is that even if a new relationship or marriage is born, we will not leave the Covid orphans without support.

Hungarian Nation

Cover photo: Anita Herczegh visits a child
Source: MTI/Attila Balázs