Because the most dangerous player in Kötöttfogs is Sándor Csintalan, a great veteran of the atheistic pilgrimage from MSZP to MSZP.
Motto: "[…] My specific experience is that there is a trafficker in the neighborhood where you cannot get a certain type of cigarette because I regularly buy it. I'm not kidding. They said it. You can't bring that cigarette here. […]” (Sándor Csintalan in Kötöttfogs)
The government meeting had only one topic: the extremely dangerous talk show Kötöttfoggs, hosted by the extremely dangerous and smart Sándor Pörzse, which posed a huge threat to the reigning power.
Extremely smart, prepared, authentic, truthful people gathered in this production. The already mentioned Sándor Pörzse, who peeked out from behind Gábor Vona and Jobbik and crossed over to the other side. Péter Konok, the garden gnome of Marxism, István Dévényi, who had to come in three times to be noticed once, such a small, bespectacled figure who, on the other hand, could go anywhere without being noticed as many times as he wanted, and finally the most dangerous actor, Sándor Csintalan, from the MSZP to the MSZP a great veteran of the atheistic pilgrimage.
The government meeting was about them. The Prime Minister and the ministers listened more and more worriedly to the reports about the coordinated actions of the formidable opposition, their crystal-clear, unassailable arguments, their topics, Pörzse's hair management and Csintalan's "good evening, Hungarians!" about his introductions, each of which was a punch to the heart of the NER. After the reports, the government made a decision that this cannot continue and something must be done. But no concrete decision was made.
After the cabinet meeting, the prime minister retired to his study and pondered. He then called the former president of the United States, who immediately knew what was going on, but they did not agree on who was the most dangerous of the actors in "Kötöttvogs", because Trump mentioned János Reichert by name, because he is so smart.
Erdogan, on the other hand, focused on Pörzse, because he is even smarter. Nursultán Nazarbayev mentioned Konok, saying that his humor is as irresistible as that of Teacher Kökörchin. And it's life-threatening.
Javier Milei was still a newcomer to politics, but of course he had already heard of the Kötöttfoggs, and he mentioned the little moustache, because - as he put it - the small, uncharacteristic ones with mustaches can explode unexpectedly. (This is why there was such a great danger recently that the first Potocska or the first Jakab government would still stand up...)
Robert Fico, on the other hand, referred to the great pilgrim Sándor Csintalan by name, and they agreed with the Hungarian Prime Minister on this. And then the prime minister decided.
He summoned the head of the secret services…
The next day, in front of the traffic nearest to Sándor Csintalan's residence, a long figure in a black coat appeared, holding a Magyar Hang (survivor's magazine) in front of his face, as if he were reading deeply, but if someone had observed this figure carefully and closely, he would have seen that the survival magazine had two holes cut in sight.
The dark figure watched. In fact, he observed. And another figure stood in the traffic, in the corner, with a spike (Csévi pear liquor), a scratch-off lottery ticket, and waited for Sándor Csintalan. The information had to be obtained at any cost.
And Csintalan has arrived. It was still morning, Csintalan entered the traffic, "good morning, Hungarians!" - greeted the traffic girl, who hissed a bored "hello" between her teeth, because she had not understood this fat, listless, vole-faced uncle for a long time.
Naughty bought the usual and then left. The figure standing in the corner then folded up the spike, scratched off his lottery ticket - he won a thousand forints - and he also left the pub. He raised his right arm in front of his face, as if he was just wiping his nose on the sleeve of his overcoat, and hissed into the microphone: "The first stage of the CsS 2023-24 action has been successfully completed... Meeting at the agreed place...!"
The tall figure in the dark coat lowered the survival magazine, gave a barely perceptible nod, and walked towards the other figure. And the other figure towards the other figure, but from his point of view, the other figure was not him, but the other, because if it had been him, he would not have been able to move towards anyone. They both took twelve steps and were already standing next to each other.
"Well?"
"I got it!"
"Dictate!"
– A pack of Sodró cigarette tobacco, with accompanying paper...
"I understood." Fixed. The second stage begins...
The two figures turned and started towards the traffic. They entered. They waited patiently for the customer inside to finish, and when they were finally left in a trio with the bored traffic girl, one of them spoke:
- He loves his job?
"No," she answered firmly.
This little-expected development surprised the characters a little, but the other invented himself:
"Do you have another job?"
"There isn't."
"Then you want to continue working here?"
"Yes."
"In this case, pay close attention!" From now on, if the former grumpy uncle with a "good morning Hungarian" comes in, he will never get what he asks for again.
- But why?
"You don't ask!"
"It's good for me anyway..."
"Do you always take a line?"
"Yes."
"From now on there isn't."
"And if you ask for something else?"
"Neither is that." He has nothing. Understood?
"Yes."
"And not a word to anyone!" - added the figure, and for the sake of momentum, he flashed the girl his ID.
The two figures left with a significant expression. The report was on the Prime Minister's desk that afternoon. Who leaned back satisfied: - That's settled too...
This is how the illiberal NER drove the first nail into the coffin of Köttötfogág.
Postscript: The survival magazine commissioned a man to mobilize his secret service connections from Bucharest to Washington to find out what happened in Sándor Csintalan's favorite traffic. Csaba Lukács...
Featured image: Tibor Vermes/Demokrata
